I do kickboxing once a week and when I go there we learned at first stretches and did work outs annnd the moves, different types of kicks and punches of course which is obviously easy for anyone me included, however =/ everyone who I spar in matches against who are really serious about the attacks they launch are so fast and violent, I won't say violent but they're not weak and much faster than me anyway, last week I was against a girl called Daisy and somehow we managed to get 6 points EACH, this week she got 11 and I still got 6, I didn't feel like I'd scored anything! I was getting constantly beaten about the head and she outpaced me 10/1 which intimidated me a little and everyone was cheering me on to get her back but I couldn't, I'm just not fast or strong or witty enough and sometimes during situations like that in which I feel lesser than others because I knew I was never very pretty or popular in high school (no boyfriend - not that I cared mind - and few friends who I could relate to and was jeered at by some guys about my looks through the years and extremely shy around the older girls) and only got over my depression like 2 years ago and have always found paperwork exceptionally difficult, and in situations like that day with the match against Daisy it was all coming back to me and in the car on the way back my dad picked up on it and was worried about me, it's silly it really is and normally I wouldn't inflict my worries on others when I'm big enough and ugly enough to deal with it myself, just not with THIS, just wanted to vent I guess I really hope I can get better and faster in the matches, if I don't then whether I want to or not I will sink into a hole and feel crappy about myself again, before I loved kickboxing so I really don't want that to happen, I'm gripping onto what I have while my nails are sliding away off the board gradually..wish me luck everyone yea *tries to smile*